


F is for Fockodile

by otatop



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Also he's part fox?, Crack, De-Aged Neil Josten, Fluff and Crack, Gen, it's a cute fluffy crack mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 23:37:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otatop/pseuds/otatop
Summary: Neil is a fox baby bean boy and the monsters cope for a single afternoon.





	F is for Fockodile

**Author's Note:**

> [ziegenkind](https://twitter.com/ziegenkind094) posted baby fox neil and everything exploded and then i accidentally wrote this. WOOPS go check out the awesome amazing super cute art and don't quote rt it or imma come scold you

KEBIN

Kevin comes in to absolute chaos.

Aaron looks half crazed, Nicky is laughing his ass off, and Andrew is lounging back on the couch recording everything on his phone. 

Neil seems to be the cause of it all, three foot nothing, running across the dorm room, fox tail knocking over everything he passes. 

Kevin drops his bag. “What the  _ fuck _ happened to Neil?” He asks. 

“Don’t ask,” Andrew says without looking up from his phone. 

“Why not?”

“There’s no time for plot, close the damn door before he escapes!” Aaron yells. Kevin notices the orange, shrieking jelly bean hobbling toward him at breakneck speed and closes the door a second before it can escape. 

“Ow-si!” The baby Neil yells, face planting clumsily into Kevin’s knees when he can’t stop in time. “Ow-si?” he says again, looking up at Kevin with giant blue eyes. It’s only now that he notices the fox ears to match the tail. 

“Uh… no?” Kevin says, looking up at the others for… permission or backup or  _ something _ .

“ _ God _ , you’re useless. You should have just stayed gone,” Aaron says, breathless. He’s standing near the bean bags, hands on his hips, panting. 

“I was gone  _ a _ night. One. What the fuck guys?”

“FUCK!” Neil shouts from his knees, sending Nicky further into hysterics. “OW! SI!” Neil says again. When Kevin locks the door instead of opening it, Neil kicks him in the shin and runs back to the others with an unintelligible whine. Weirdly, he goes straight to Aaron, circling his legs so many times it makes Kevin dizzy. 

“Ho-wh-I mean- He’s a  _ fox baby _ ?” Kevin stutters out. He comes further into the room and drops next to Andrew, who’s put his phone away and is watching everything passively.  _ How _ can he be so unaffected by  _ this _ of all things? 

“Astute,” Andrew says. Neil comes up to them both, tripping a little into Andrew’s knees where he stays while he glares at Kevin. 

“ _ Mean _ ,” Neil says at him. 

“You’re a  _ baby _ ,” Kevin says back. “An actual, literal  _ baby _ .” 

“And-wew  _ meany _ ,” Neil says, looking up at Andrew and pointing to Kevin.

“Yes, he is a meany. A very mean, bad guy,” Andrew responds like it’s completely reasonable. Kevin wants to scream about the absurdity of it all. 

“ _ Meany! _ ” Neil says again with conviction, little body pointing so forcefully that his tail flexes with the movement. 

“Oh, right.” Andrew punches Kevin in the thigh so hard he doubles forward with a loud curse. “Don’t be a meany, Kevin.” 

“ _ Kebin _ .” Neil mocks and kicks Kevin in the ankle with his little bare foot. 

“What the-” He stares at them both, completely at a loss for what to do. Rational thought obviously isn’t a choice and past that he really just wants to drink. 

Luckily, Neil makes the decisions for them and starts running around the room again. He’s fast for a little guy, faster than a toddler should be but his feet look like normal little kid feet so at least that’s something. 

NEE

“I can’t  _ breathe _ ,” Nicky says, hand on his chest. He hasn’t laughed this much since Germany, for sure. What’s there been to laugh at? But Neil is small and feisty and just as smart mouthed as always, albeit with a significantly limited vocabulary. He’s been running for  _ hours _ now, getting into things little kids should not be getting into and trying desperately to escape. Once, he got as far as the stairwell before they even realized he was gone. That was why they’d had Wymack drop off a very specific, and hopefully complete, request from the local baby and department stores. 

Currently, Neil is on his back on the couch next to Andrew, feet pedaling in the air. At first, it had started to keep Nicky away, but now it’s just a fun game. Nicky grabs one foot and gives it a dramatic sniff. “Eeeeeewww, bluuurrghh,” he groans and Neil laughs and kicks out his other foot so that Nicky will do the same thing. He does, of course, waving his hand in front of his nose to waft away the smell. In truth, he smells like baby, and Nicky just wants to bundle him up and keep him forever. But practically, he’s also a menace. 

“YUCK! I gotta put these things away, Mister,” he tells Neil and brings up the sneaker he has been trying to put on Neil for thirty minutes (with  _ zero _ help from anyone no thank you very much). He’s able to get one on and Neil, with his infinite toddler flexibility, brings his foot all the way up to his shoulder and drops it down sideways onto Kevin’s knee. 

“Dammit!” Kevin yells, jumping up to move all the way against the arm of the couch. 

“Dammi’!” Neil yells back. Nicky wants to scold them both but the distraction has allowed him to put on the second shoe so he can’t be that mad. 

“Alright, buddy, want to give these a try? We did our best with the sizes so I hope they’re comfy.” He offers his hands to Neil who wraps his entire hands around the middle fingers of Nicky’s hands. He’s so  _ small _ . And  _ cute _ . He pulls Neil up and helps him land on the ground with a poignant  _ Squeak! _

Neil looks at his feet. He’s still only in a t-shirt and diaper with a poorly cut tail hole and the shoes look comical with his skinny naked legs. He picks up one foot and stomps it back down to make another  _ Squeak! _ Then he starts trying to jump. His body doesn’t lift off the ground with his toddler bopping but his heels do and that’s all he needs to start squeaking over and over again. 

“This is the worst,” Kevin grumbles. 

“Yeah, but now he can’t sneak away again. Can you imagine explaining this if he gets out?”

Neil starts stomping one foot and then the next and then runs once around the couch and then over to Aaron and then back to Andrew. He’s saying things, words even, and Nicky has no idea what they could be. 

“He needs an outlet,” Andrew says. He picks Neil up, flips him over, and lets him slide down his legs head first to the floor. Neil shrieks and then runs back to Aaron on a beanbag who definitely does not want that. He pulls his knees up and away, one hand clutching at them, and gives Neil a look. 

“I got it,” Nicky says. He fiddles with his computer and the tv until he finds what he thinks will get the job done. Neil is instantly entranced by the simple beat and vibrant colors behind the dancers. He looks to the tv, then to Nicky, and then to Andrew. 

“Pants!” He hells, pointing at the tv. 

“Dancing, yup,” Andrew says and hoists himself up. Nicky wishes he could get his phone out to record this without being murdered. Andrew, blank faced and unenthusiastic, begins following the dance instructions in the video. He picks up his foot and rotates it at the ankle. He punches the air so slow it’s barely on beat.

Neil tries his best, hopping on both feet while trying to balance and shake one. The dorm is full of bouncy music and repetitive squeaking and Neil concentrates so hard on shaking his foot that he misses the next three moves. 

Andrew lets him figure out how to shake his butt on his own. Neil pauses to watch the video for a moment before he starts jumping, turns around, and wobbles his knees to try and shake his diaper. There must be some disconnect between baby and fox, though, because all that is happening is his tail swinging back and forth. He glares at it between his knees and makes a frustrated sound. 

“Oh my god, he’s so cute,” Nicky gushes. Neil stomps his feet and makes an angry face at him.

“No’ kyoo!” he screeches. Aaron winces at the noise. “No’ kyoo!” He tries to shake his butt again and only ends up bouncing and wagging his tail. It’s quickly turning into  _ not fun _ and Nicky drops to the computer to start a new one before it can come to a meltdown. 

The colors are flashier and the building music are enough to distract Neil from his tail dilemma. He looks up to Andrew and makes a vague waving motion with one hand. Andrew nods at him. The movements are easier for Neil’s baby body, way less demanding of coordination.

There’s a lot of stomping and squeaking and dinosaur roars. When it gets to using their arms to  _ Chomp it! Chomp it! _ It takes all of one second for Neil to start jumping at Andrew with his chomping arms. He chomps Andrew around the thighs with his dinosaur arms and then something happens that Nicky is sure is a fever dream. Nobody will ever believe him. Andrew drops to the ground for the next  _ Chomp it! Chomp it! _ And clamps his straight arms twice around Neils belly. He uses the dinosaur hands and everything. 

Neil screams in excitement and spend the rest of the video stomping and chomping at Andrew around the head and Neck. Andrew lets it all happen without a flinch or frown. Neil is giggling and giggling and chomping and jumping and squeaking. 

The next video auto plays when everyone is too busy watching him.

It’s… 

Well, it’s about farting. 

Neil doesn’t notice at first, but then he gets distracted by the change in beat. He automatically tries to mimic the dancers at first before he realizes what the song is. Then he hears the sound effects and sees hypercolored clouds coming out of the dancers butts and loses his mind. 

Nicky isn’t sure who laughs first, him or Neil. Neil is definitely who lasts the longest, giggling so loud he’s practically supersonic and trying to dance along but really he is just bouncing and squeaking his little shoes. Andrew collapses down into the free beanbag, unable to keep up any longer. 

And Neil laughs. He laughs and shrieks and laughs until the sounds coming out of him aren’t human anymore. Nicky never had any hope of keeping a straight face and Kevin crumbles next. Even Aaron has the back of his hand pressed against his mouth as his eyes begin to water. 

And then Neil laughs himself into his own fart. 

It’s barely audible over the music and laughing but it sends Neil into such a state that his little baby legs can’t hold him up anymore and he falls down to his back, head cushioned by his tail, and he laughs so hard his face is nearly purple and Nicky almost worries about his oxygen intake. 

In the other beanbag, Andrew has his elbows balanced on his knees and his entire face buried in his hands. It’s the second most beautiful thing Nicky had seen that day, a surprise enough to cause a hiccup in his laughter. The sound gets Neil’s attention, who then follows Nicky’s attention when it’s not on  _ him _ anymore. It takes a good minute of panting before he is able to roll onto his belly and crawl over to Andrew, pulling himself up with handfuls of jeans and t-shirt. 

Andrew doesn’t look up. Neil pats at his bit of exposed cheek and ear with his two pudgy hands. “Why sa?” He asks and Nicky’s heart just about melts. “No sa.” He kisses the back of Andrew’s hands over his face, leaving behind a shiny wet mark. 

It takes a second, but eventually Andrew takes a deep breath and drops his hands. His face is deep red but his eyes are bright and he ruffles Neil’s hair. Neil smiles and takes this to mean that everything is alright and squeaks his way over to bother Nicky again. 

“Foo?” he asks, hand patting his own round belly. Nicky wants to kiss it but that’s about all he can think of right now. “Foo!” 

“He’s hungry,” Andrew says, like it was obvious. Okay, maybe it was, but Nicky can’t stop staring at his bean shaped body and flopping tail. 

“Why are you asking me? You like Andrew and Aaron way better.” 

“Don’t drag me back into this hell hole,” Aaron grouses. 

“You’re the one who brought all the bags in from Wymack and stocked the fridge. You control the food,” Andrew reasons. Nicky shrugs. Sure. Why not. 

“Okay bub, dinner time. What do you want.”

Neil lets out a string of sounds that were not at all words. Andrew leaves and Nicky wants to call him back for help. Neil says the same exact sounds in the same order so apparently they are  _ supposed _ to be words, he just has no clue which ones. 

“I have no idea what’s happening,” he tells Neil, staring him straight in the eye. Next to him, Kevin brings up both of his hands up in a broad gesture. 

“Who gives a shit at this point! Our lives are crazy, Neil’s a wild baby, and Andrew is emptying the entire freezer. What’s the point.”

Freezer? Freezer! Nicky jumps up and runs to the kitchen where Andrew is spooning heaps of ice cream and toppings into two bowls, one large and one small. Neil squeaks into the room and pulls himself up with both hands to peer over the table. 

“Sawbubbie ass keem wifffff chawkit soss,” he says again. Nicky stares at the strawberry ice cream and other assorted things. It takes a second for the syllables to click and he is mildly impressed by Andrew’s ability to speak baby. Mostly he’s disturbed. 

“Andrew we can’t feed him  _ this _ for dinner. He needs to eat healthy! Who knows how long he’ll be this small.”

Andrew drops some cherries into the small bowl and lets Neil go crazy with the shaker of sprinkles. He says, “He’ll be fine in the morning,” and drizzles on the chocolate sauce.

“How do you know?”

“Deus ex machina.” 

“..... is that… is that french?” 

Andrew levels him with a look and doesn’t answer. He helps Neil onto a stack of books on one chair and squirts a mountain of whipped cream onto their bowls. 

“Bone apple teeth.” 

“Teef?”

  
  


AAR-NON

Squeak squeak

….

Squeak squeak

....

Squeak squeak squeak squeak

…

Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak

“Teef.”

Aaron rears his head back from the spitty spoon that is being shoved in his face. It’s a lopsided mound of whipped cream and sprinkles and undefinable slobber. 

“I don’t want that.” 

“Teef!”

“He said teef you have to eat it,” Andrew says. Aaron gives him an appalled look. Partly because  _ what the fuck _ and partly because his brother just said  _ teef _ . 

“I don’t want to eat it.”

“TEEF!” Neil shouts, shoving the spoon at Aarons mouth. He whacks his tail against the couch and beats Aaron’s leg with his free hand as he chants, “TEEF! TEEF! TEEF! TEEF!” And tries to shove the spoon in his mouth. Andrew does little to help. In fact, he crosses his arms and stares Aaron straight in the eye with a deadpan face and says blankly, in unison, “Teef. Teef. Teef.”

Aaron looks into the furious little face of Neil. Then up to his brother. Then back to Neil. He can’t see a way out. He sacrifices his sleeve when he ‘helps’ himself to the spoon, wiping it away and smacking his lips like he’d actually taken a bite. Neil  _ beams _ and waves the spoon around but Andrew isn’t fooled. 

“Loser,” he says.

“Woosuh,” Neil mimics. 

AND-WEW 

The sun sets and so does Neil’s ability to process. He is already in his fleece onesie and curled up in a beanbag watching some cartoon Nicky found. He keeps kicking his feet out and rolling over and it takes Andrew a frustratingly long time to realize why. In his defense, he’s exhausted, but it’s no excuse. He kneels down on the ground and gets Neil’s attention before snipping a little hole in the back for his tail to come free. Neil looks at him over his shoulder with big, watery, sleepy eyes and then goes back to his show. 

God, he’s tired. They all are. Aaron and Nicky had gone and come back in pajamas in a show of solidarity and Andrew thinks that might actually be an okay idea. He leaves Neil with three capable adults to put on his own pajamas and comes back. There’s a beat. Aaron walks by with a glass of water. A beat. 

Neil yells. 

For a second, none of them know what to do. Nicky is closest and he tries to drop down to Neil’s side to comfort him and immediately gets a palm to the face. Andrew comes next and gets a foot to the hand. He doesn’t grab, just lets the appendage rest and kick against his palm as Neil begins to sob. 

“You’re tired,” he says, trying to help Neil put words to the feelings. But Neil shrieks, “ _ No!” _ and slams both of his feet hard into the bean bag. 

“Are you still hungry?” Aaron asks and hey, look at that, he finally tries to be useful. But Neil shrieks, “No!” and begins to whap at the bean bag with both of his arms. His face is turning red from the exertion and Andrew fights through the freeze to figure out what’s wrong. 

“Wanna snuggle, lil guy?” Nicky offers in a soft voice. Andrew almost thinks it’s a good idea. But Neil shrieks, “ _ No! _ ” and sobs until sound stops coming out. An inhale, and the next one is a wail. It hurts, not just his ears, and Andrew is at a loss. 

“Will one of you  _ do something _ ?” Kevin yells, adding to the noise. “Either of you. Who cares. Just  _ somebody! _ ”

Either.

Neil whimper out something that sounds like a firetruck, a miserable  _ Wew-wew-wew-wewwww _ . 

Oh. 

Andrew looks at his shirt and then Aarons. They aren’t the same, but they are both loose and navy and Neil had not seen either of them change. To himself, he says  _ idiot _ and to Neil he says, “I’m Andrew. It’s alright, I’m Andrew,” and reaches past flailing limbs to pick Neil up by the armpits. In a flat second, he goes limp, all of the air escaping his lungs in one long, lazy cry. 

Andrew brings him to his chest, tucking his feet to curl up in one arm. Neil presses his face into Andrew’s neck and breathes out another soft cry. His face his warm and wet and his breaths are hitched and whining but the noise begins to calm down quickly. Andrew brings Neil into the bedroom where he can pace in the dark and quiet and rock Neil gently side to side. 

“You’re never going to live this down,” he whispers and kisses the side of Neil’s soft fox ear. In no time at all, Neil is asleep. Andrew tucks him into the bottom bunk and very nearly wants to punch something when Neil brings his tail up to hug like a stuffed animal. “What an asshole,” he whispers, because  _ come on _ . 

He gives the other three five minutes to get in the bedroom before the door is locked for the night. Aaron stays on the couch with the remote and a textbook but Nicky and Kevin come in and take the other two beds. Andrew drags in a bean bag and places it in front of the locked door to prevent anyone from getting by and is out before he can consider a night light. 

Early in the morning, Neil wakes him up by flopping his very large adult human body into the sliver of free chair. 

“ _ What the fuck _ ,” he says with feeling. Andrew shrugs and goes back to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT A WILD TIME


End file.
